A whole new spotlight.
Time is running out. Of this rollercoaster of a change in my life there’s all but 4 weeks left of the first year of University. The prospects are, for a change, refreshing. If my exams go as well as they have the potential to, there’s every chance I could pull off a First (I) for my starter year – a position that holds great leverage over working placements; the difference between fighting to get to a door and having the door opened for you and being shown through. The target is in sight. There are only 4 more hurdles to clear and cleared they will be in a matter of 15 days. I commit myself to a set timetable of revision, from early morning to late afternoon, giving myself the evening off to digest the information. A fool’s move? I have plenty of other things to be doing in the evening and would rather get back and relax than scrawl through yet more notes. Time will tell.
The IT Demi-God has come around, even if it’s a “sorry old bean” mannerism of clearing up loose ends, handing over lost forgotten property and in all possibility, never seeing him again, it’s cleared the air of an ever present distain and constant pest. No one on any side of a fall out wants it hanging over them at such a decisive point in their education. It took a hard play for it happen, the Demi-God’s mistake touching on defamation was the opportunity I had 2 choices to make from – play the brigand and pursue him legally, or ask for an honest apology and thus, break down the walls. The neutral chapter continues, and well just close things as one wishes all things come to an end by – politely, and reassuringly.
Then out of the blue, new light has been shed tonight on that lost connection from my history. This has me in 2 minds in what to do, but has also given me the opportunity to simply be honest with someone I left in the dark so long ago. Life it would seem has not been good to that lost someone. In the 2 years that have passed by, his life has gone gradually downhill and he appears to be in a state he’s not sure about getting out of. He’s dropped out of school, whether or not this is a problem that stems from poor grades, or self-esteem…. or both, it’s hard to say. He’s also had a failed relationship like mine and unfortunately has taken the brunt of collateral fallout via disagreements, fighting in social circles and so on. It’s not been an easy ride, and while I take this information second hand, and with a pinch of salt, there’s only so many ways you can paint a picture to some up someone’s life from 2 years ago to now. The major events will always highlight over all the little highlights and quiet moments. I now feel determined to give him a helping hand, if only to provide support from afar, that which he needs so much… just someone to give him a gentle push in the right direction, encouraging all the while. One day soon, I shall press forward and finish what was left behind. I just want to feel complete again.