The big(ger) city and its many highlights.
Who would have thought that in no less than 4 weeks, my life would have improved yet again.
I’m now finishing up a placement with a software development house – a short term position that’s rally opened my eyes about what’s possible in my field of expertise, above and beyond the usual sprawl of home networks and setting up PC equipment. There’s been a new-found sense of drive in this 4-week push in a much bigger city. I have to say however, while the placement has been excellent and my newly found colleagues wise and open minded, it’s this city’s culture that has really thrown me off my expectations.
As with most dating of my interests these days it’s down to the app-on-phone. The 21st century’s safety net, saving curious man from the historical tight fist to the face or public humiliation. With this comes a crowd that brings together all manner of lonely hearts, lined up together on a seemingly endless riverbed, panning for that speck of gold dust that fits their ideal. In most cases, and when I’ve move significant distance with these apps, there’s a general agreement among it’s users – fresh meat to a pack of hungry wolves treatment to start, a few questions for main course, then ignore completely without so much as a well wishing or simply, “Sorry, you’re not my type.”, the chorus of this generation is one of silence and “block” buttons.
Yet with this city, something is very different. The culture is more open to simply chatting, meeting up for dinner and drinks and actually forming friendships. So upon getting settled in, and exploring the apps as one does in a new area to see the who’s who of the dating world, I was rather surprised by the messages I got from actual genuine people who were interested in who I was and what I had to offer from my interests and personality. So began this month of meeting friendly new faces, dinner dates and chatting into the late hours about life’s turn around and change of fates. The cloud 9 moment came in the form of the annual Pride festival where the day before I stumbled upon someone who has since made a remarkable impression on my life.
He is a smart, incredibly intelligent, well traveled guy, brought up in Hong Kong, then Canada, finally settling in England to pursue his studies in medicine. We met up by the cathedral on the morning of Pride, just as the flicker of banners and men baring lipstick were mincing their way down to the starting point of the parade. We hit off from the get-go, having an amazing day in the crystal clear weather. Everything about that day just seemed right and for the first time in as long as I can recall, I felt no pressure on my shoulders to drive the day forward, having to endlessly guess what my companion was wanting to do. No quite to the contrary, my newly found spark of life had plenty of ideas for the day and I was all for joining him for all of them. From the rides we went on together, lunch, watching the events unfold through the day in the main park or simply lying together on the grass, talking about family and exchanging our histories. The feeling was incredible. Just being there with someone who wanted me there, who felt nothing but curiousness and wonder about his new-found companion.
We stayed together through the whole day. Dinner, walking back up to the cathedral just as the sun was fading away and finally departing each others company as my numbered double decker arrived to separate us from a closing embrace of arms and smiles. Without a shadow of a doubt, this fleeting moment in my life has washed away previous doubts and remorse. Love lost and torn away from were seemingly cleansed by the looks and smiles of this dark-eyed superman. For the briefest of moments, after all the stresses and strains of breakups and arguing with landlords about removing partners off tenancies, I felt complete. As with all romances and brief connections across existence, there are catches. The dark-eyed superman was suffered from dragging a particularly unfortunate anchor with him – a very recent relationship breakup. I knew I could play it safe through pride and just enjoy the day with him, but sadly as far as long term goes, progress will take a seat in the waiting room. He has agreed to stay in touch and with any luck things will develop.
Time will tell, and I have no doubt things will improve for him. All a matter of waiting.